


Shards and Mosaics

by EtchCantrellorLightningHeterodyne



Category: The Order of the Stick
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 14:09:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18523129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EtchCantrellorLightningHeterodyne/pseuds/EtchCantrellorLightningHeterodyne
Summary: Soon and Girard have an argument, because Soon's throwing him out again and Girard doesn't know why. It gets out of hand.





	Shards and Mosaics

Soon's standing in the castle in Azure City, and regretting everything that led him to this point.

He shouldn't have kept seeing Girard (Girard had better things to do). He shouldn't have  _ broken _ his oath (he knew he would when he made it).

Fat lot of good it did him now. He'd sworn not to break any, and he’s broken three. One to Serini- no contact, and yet two weeks later he's letting Girard fuck him into his mattress. One to Kraagor- he'd keep the party safe. And now one member of it doesn't exist. And one- the first oath he'd made and the last one he'd thought he'd ever make- to Mijung.

_ You said you'd stay loyal to her, faithful to her, no matter what. _

_ And look where you are now; arguing with your weekend lover in an empty hallway, over the promises you've broken that keep cutting at your mind with their shards. You're telling him to leave when you desperately don’t want to because he's all you have left and he's the only one who gives a damn about you even though he shouldn't and you can't stand the thought of losing him. _

_ You're telling him to leave, and he's pissed about it, because you always do. _

“WHY!? Why can't you spend  _ one minute _ with me without mentioning the promise you made Serini and then THROWING ME OUT!? The promise, I might add, that  _ EVERYONE _ in this  _ THRICE DAMNED PARTY _ has  _ BROKEN _ !?”

“I'm a  _ paladin _ , Girard! Keeping every stupid  _ fucking _ promise I make is my  _ JOB _ !”

“WELL YOU'RE TERRIBLE AT IT! YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN! YOU MAKE PROMISES AND YOU THINK YOU'LL KEEP THEM AND  _ SO DO I _ AND YOU  _ NEVER _ CAN!”

“REALLY, GIRARD!? THE PROMISE I MADE TO KRAAGOR!? YOU  _ ALWAYS _ BRING THAT UP!”

“I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE PROMISE YOU MADE TO FUCKING KRAAGOR, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE PROMISE YOU MADE  _ MIJUNG _ ! THE ONE THAT SAID YOU  _ WOULDN'T  _ USE PEOPLE AND TOSS THEM OUT LIKE COPPER PIECE WHORES!  _ THE ONE THAT SAID YOU GAVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT ANYBODY ON THIS CRUMBLING PLANET  _ BEFORE _ THEY GAVE YOU AN EXCUSE TO DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANTED _ !!!  _ THE ONE YOU MADE BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT YOU LOVED HER AND THE ONE YOU BROKE WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OTHER PARTY IN THAT MARRIAGE UNTIL SHE GAVE YOU AN EXCUSE TO WAGE YOUR PETTY WAR _ !!!  _ THE ONE THAT SAID YOU  _ CARED  _ ABOUT HER WHEN YOU'VE NEVER LOVED ANYTHING OR ANYONE BUT YOUR  _ WORTHLESS _ LAWS AND YOU  _ NEVER WILL!!!”

Every muscle in Soon's body goes still. He's not even sure that he's still breathing.

Did-

Girard's eyes widen faintly, the way they always do when he realizes he's made a mistake.

“I- fuck, Soon, I didn't-”

“Get the  _ fuck _ out of this castle,” and Soon barely chokes the words out around the sob in his throat.        

Of course he loves Girard. Of  _ course _ he loved Mijung.

Girard doesn't move, so Soon does, because he  _ can't. _ He can't deal with this, he can't deal with  _ him _ , not with Kraagor's voice gnawing at the inside of his skull and Mijung's favorite song ringing in his ears and the way she smiled whenever he wrote her poetry  _ burned _ into the back of his eyelids.

The paladin shoves past the illusionist, walking striding running sprinting past him, down the hall, away from the broken oath and the accusations and the way they twisted in his gut like knives.

Soon reaches a little alcove full of cushions, and he collapses, pulling his knees up to his chest and sobbing, pretending that maybe if he curls in on himself enough that all of this will go away.

That the promises he's broken will stop ripping at his mind. That maybe he'll start being worth any of the people he'd made them to.

 

Girard is standing in an empty hallway with wide eyes and a half-formed apology on his lips before he realizes that Soon is  _ gone _ , and knowing the paladin and knowing that he'd been having a bad night anyway, he's curled up somewhere hating himself.

_ Damnit, I  _ knew _ he was having a bad night and I started off on that stupid tangent anyway.  _

_ Fuck what time I told Kanta I'd be home. Soon's more important to me than that. _

_ And, yknow, I've always been terrible at listening to him when he's told me what to do. _

This in mind, Girard takes off in the same direction Soon had. He's only hurrying for a few minutes before he hears the paladin crying, half-muffled sobs that sound like they’re being wrenched out of his throat.

The sound practically shatters his heart then and there. 

_ I shouldn't have said that. _

_ Fuck, I shouldn't have said that. _

Girard only spends another minute or so searching before he finds Soon, curled up into a ball and sobbing his eyes out in the little cushioned niche.

He sits down next to the paladin, and pulls Soon into his arms, and Soon jolts like he wasn't expecting Girard to come looking at all.

Gods above, they knew each other far too well.

Girard presses his face into Soon's hair, tugging him closer and running a hand along his spine.

Soon takes a shuddery breath, and leans into Girard's chest, curling up in the illusionist's lap.

“I'm sorry,” Girard whispers. “Gods, Soon, I'm so fucking sorry- shit. I know- I  _ know _ you loved her. And I know you tried your damn best to keep the promise to Kraagor, and- I'm  _ glad _ you broke the one to Serini. Fuck. Fuck.”

_ Shit. Am I seriously going to say this? _

_ Yes. I am. Because it's true, and he- he deserves to know. _

“I- I love you.”

Soon lifts his head, matching tear tracks staining his cheeks, and Girard leans in and kisses them away as best he can because he  _ does _ . He loves Soon with all his heart, and he's not letting the paladin die thinking he doesn't.

Soon gives a watery smile, and presses his lips to Girard's.

Soon kisses you like you're the most important thing in the world, like he's here and you're here and that's all that will ever matter.

Girard kisses him back, because Soon's the only person on the planet who fits perfectly in Girard's lap, and he's the only person on the planet who Girard will let stay there for as long as he likes.

Soon pulls away first, leaning his forehead against Girard's.

“I love you too,” the paladin whispers, and in that moment, Girard feels like he could fight the gods and win. Like he could fight the  _ Snarl _ and win.

He wraps his arms around Soon's waist, nuzzling his cheek. Soon drapes his arms around Girard's shoulders, pressing a kiss to the illusionist's cheek.

The two of them stay there for a few hours, just enjoying the closeness. 

Just for those few hours, it feels like they have all the time in the world.


End file.
